Friday, August 22

Conspiracy Theory

I think there is a conspiracy afoot to keep me in Maryland. This is why I think this:

This summer has been beautiful. The weather has been so nice that I have been able to keep the house open for weeks now. It is the perfect summer weather – mid 80’s and low humidity.

The calls I am getting for interviews are all in this area. I have only gotten a few calls from New England.

The economy in MD is much better than it is in New England. Gas is getting cheaper too.

Michael has suggested that I go back to school. This last one is important because it says he acknowledges that it may take me a while to get a job in NE, and in the meantime I might as well do something productive.

I still adore my house. My house is pretty big (5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms) and I just love the setup. When we go to NE I wont have as much house and will probably have to get rid of some furniture.

All things considered: It makes more sense for me to stay...but I dont love it here the way I do RI. And I think that is the biggest factor for moving. I have to go where my heart lives - conspiracy or no...

The Business of Death

My best friend, Trala’s, dad is dying. It is real now. Before, he was just sick and everyone was trying to get him healthier and accommodate his new needs. Well, last Tuesday he went into the hospital because he had fluid around his heart, again. They admitted him to Hospice Wednesday night. Trala has said that he wont pass away in the next week, but he probably wont last a month. *sigh*

I don’t know what to do for her. I adore Trala and she has helped me cope with some stuff without even knowing she was being helpful. She is always truthful - sometimes to the point of hilarity, one comment she made about me not being a nice person made me laugh so hard my asthma started acting up – and is scarily logical. But death, and imminent death, is not logical. No, that isn’t right, death is logical and expected, the grief associated with death is not logical. I mean it is logical that one would feel grief, but it is not that cut and dried. It isn’t a linear progression, everyone’s grief is different, and some feel it more than others.

Then there is the business of death. All of the little details that have to be taken care of after a death. Not the funeral or the reception, but the stuff afterwards: the removal of the deceased from the legal papers and the accounts, the life insurance, and the last of the medical bills. Stuff that you know is going to have to be taken care of but when they come it is strange that it is so impersonal. A death disrupts the lives of those left, but to others it is just…business.

I have cooked individual meals for the family and frozen them so they can eat something quick without having to think about it. I think the best I can do for Trala and her family is to just support them right now. But I am having a hard time doing that because of the death business. There are already so many services for families during this time that it is difficult to find anything that hasn’t been taken care of. That is good for Trala and her family, but hard for me. I have offered my services in any way I can so I will just wait until they need me. Have I mentioned that I am not good at waiting?

Monday, August 11

No Excuses

Wow, I cant believe it has been so long since I blogged. Things have been pretty busy though.

I fostered 4 kittens this season Tank, Happy, Solo, and Winter.
Mum is here so I have been busy doing things with her
We spent a week in Newport, RI
And, once again, we are getting the house ready to go on the market.

Yeah, I know, we just took it off the market! But now I have decided that Newport is where I want to end up. I know this sounds fickle and that I don’t really know what I want, but that isn’t the case. I have always wanted to go back to Newport. I go back for a visit every year just because it kills me to stay away. This year, we delivered Solo to our dear friends in Newport and after discussing it with Michael we have decided to go back permanently.

The reason we didn’t consider it earlier is because the cost of living is the same there as it is here, except the housing prices are even higher. Add that to the economy of the state being in trouble and it isn’t the first choice of any sane person. But no one ever said the Traveling Andersons were sane. Lol. So now we are prepping for a move

I have been working with a headhunter in Boston and have been sending resumes out to as many places as I can. I have also been looking into apartments there and different areas to live in MA and East RI. Michael is getting ready for a move also. He only had 7 classes left for his degree so he is taking them all in this coming semester. Additionally, he scheduled them all for Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday so he can come up to RI on Friday to spend the weekend with me when I finally get a job. While I don’t envy him his courseload (23 credits) I do envy him going to school. I so want to jump back into academia. Sigh, maybe spring semester.

Now that I know I am going back to RI I am anxious to just go. I am so close to suggesting that we just pack up and go and I will find a job when I get there. That wouldn’t be rational and would just cause more stress so I don’t. But it is hard to stay here when I know it would be so easy to go there. And with fall on it’s way staying here is even harder.