The Couch Chronicles

Today is my appt with the orthopedic surgeon again. Hopefully he will be able to tell me how this is going to be repaired. I am so sick of sitting on this couch. Since I am getting out today I will be able to see my weeping cherry tree in full bloom as well as all of my tulips. I am so bummed that I am not using this time to garden. Normally, by now, my beds would be pristine and well maintained. Sigh…

I have been able to explore the delights of daytime tv though. I regularly tape some shows and that is about all the tv I watch. I always get Jeopardy and some shows on adult swim but the rest of the tv broadcasts make my brain ache. I have been listening to books on CD and cross stitching but that can only entertain me for about 4 hours at a time so I have been mucking through the channels. I have been staying within the safe channels for the most part – Discovery Channel, The History Channel, Biography – but every once in a while I get brave and venture into the cloudier recesses of the channel pool. To my surprise I have added another show to the list that I already tape regularly: Good Eats. I ventured over to the Food Network one day and there it was. At first I thought it was a science show on the wrong channel but the more I watched it the more I was fascinated. It is a delightful blend of science, food, and pure camp. Being a goofball and a foodie I loved it. I love knowing tricks and the why’s of food. They also throw in history, techniques, culture, and folklore. I was enthralled.

Unfortunately not all my experiences were that pleasant. One afternoon, out of desperation, I ventured into the dark depths of daytime broadcasting. I was at first encouraged by Ellen. That wasn’t too bad. But then I was thrust, unprepared, into the Oprah show. Reeling from the shock, I blindly began changing channels. I sunk further into the muck – Jerry Springer. Blindly stabbing at the remote to relieve the pain to my eyes I found a channel with a commercial. I never thought I would be so happy for advertising. Of course it was for a trade school but that was okay…at least it gave me a chance to catch my breath. Whew! When I had become more rational I gingerly changed the channel back to my safe station – Discovery. By this time I was feeling brave…I had ventured into the slimy end of the pool and other than some retinal damage, I had survived. Well, the adrenaline rush was addictive so I headed right back – only this time I randomly chose a number and punched it into the remote. As luck would have it, I ended up on a shopping channel…a jewelry shopping channel to be exact. I was mesmerized by the nonstop babble of the sales person. There weren’t any quality pieces but you would never know it from listening to the huckster. I stayed there just to see what the next piece was going to be…and then the next one…and the next one. When I finally got tired of it I had watched for a good 30 minutes. Huh. I am the first to admit that anything shiny will attract my attention – after all, my favorite color is Sparkly – but from the format of the show, I am apparently not the only one. I think today I will try another random channel. After I get some pain pills in me…