Monday, August 31

Now I Want a Big Goofy Dog

My gym is set up so that all but 10 of the cardio machines face a bank of television sets. There are about 50 cardio machines, in rows that face 8 huge television sets. The other 10 cardio machines are along the side and they each have a television set attached to their display panel.

Ok, so I was at the gym on the elliptical machine enjoying the endorphins. Since there are 8 tvs to choose from I tend to watch a bit of everything. Well, a show came on one of the TVs that I at first just dismissed - it was a long jump competition for dogs. Well, considering I am not a dog person, I never knew these existed. But I am totally an animal person so I got sucked into the show.

It is pretty simple. There is a dog, an owner, a handler, a favorite toy and a pool. The dog waits at the end of a long runway while the handler keeps him/her from starting early. The owner waits at the edge of the pool with the favorite toy. The handler lets go, the dog starts to run and the owner throws the favorite toy into the pool. The idea is to get the dog to leap as far into the pool as possible. Well, let me just say, “Holy Shit!”

First of all, these dogs are in excellent shape. They were well trained, well behaved, and there wasn’t an ounce of fat on them. They were mostly Labs, but there were a few shepherds and other dogs as well. They were mostly mid sized dogs but they all were in their prime. They all wanted that toy, and they all wanted it NOW!

Secondly, the camera would focus in on the dogs faces before they started to run and these dogs were focused. As a cat person, I tend to think of dogs as great, loyal, loving creatures, but not as smart as cats. Ummmm…wow, was I wrong. I know some of it was bred into them – labs are water dogs, retrievers want to retrieve – but there is still a bit of training and conditioning that went into this. To get a dog to jump into a strange pool of water in front of strange people in a strange place takes a bit of getting used to.

Finally, after the dogs had their toy and got out of the pool they were greeted by their owners. Without exception, the owners greeted their dogs with love and pride. They didn’t seem to be in it for the prize as much as they found it a fun thing to do with their dog – their pal. And the dogs were pleased that they had pleased their owner, and got some head scratches out of it.

Typically, when there is a show on TV about animals I tend to tense up. Most of the shows are about abuse and neglect, or some horrific event and it always upsets me. But yesterdays show was about a bunch of people and their goofy dogs and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I didn’t see who won since my time on the elliptical was up and I was tired, but when I left, the longest jump was 20 feet 7 inches.

Holy Shit.

Wednesday, August 26


Well, now that things have settled down here I can get back to normal life again. And for me, normal life means hating the gym. So for the past 3 weeks I haven’t had to worry about hating the gym because I didn’t have to go.

It all started with a kidney stone. I certainly wasn’t going to work out with that thing knocking around inside me. That took about a week’s worth of doctor appointments to get rid of. No working out for a week. Yippee.

While I was taking care of the kidney stone problem I picked up a bug at a hospital center or doctors office. So then I completely lost my voice and had a bit of a cough. So no working out with that either. Yippee.

I was supposed to start working out again yesterday, but all hell broke loose over the weekend so I am not starting back again until later tonight. Here is the funny thing…when I couldn’t work out, I wanted to. Now that I can…I am looking for reasons not to.

What? Ummmm…fickle much?

But I am not looking too hard for reasons. With the way things have been lately, I am really looking forward to having some time just for me. 30 uninterrupted minutes on an elliptical, 15 in a sauna, and 15 in a steam room; that sounds like heaven to me. And if I could go right now, it would happen. The problem is that it won’t happen until I commute to get home, have supper, and sit down. Then I hate the gym again because by now I am tired.

So, yea…I guess I am fickle after all.

Thursday, August 20


I’m feeling a little reflective today…not like sunshine reflective – though I am so pale that when I am in the sun you have to use that little eclipse box you made in grade school. You know…looking directly at me will burn your retinas kind of reflective.

But that isn’t the point. The point is that lately I have been doing more thinking than doing. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I have been home more often because of the kidney infection and now the upper respiratory infection (that I got from going to the dr for the kidney infection). I think it has more to do with the fact that I quit watching TV.

We cancelled our Direct TV because there is no way we can moderate our TV watching. I would sit in front of it to eat lunch or supper and then an hour later I would still be there looking for something else to watch. Plus I had so many shows saved that in order to clear out the queue I would have to spend all weekend watching stuff. I finally decided I didn’t like the shows that much. I decided that if I really wanted to see a show I would have to go to the gym to see it. And a gym membership is cheaper each month than satellite TV so it just made sense.

A benefit to not having TV is that we were able to get rid of the big TV in the front room. It was HUGE!!! Before we got rid of the tv it always looked too crowded in the living room. We had the couch, 2 recliners, end tables, a big kitty condo, a coffee table and a sideboard. We moved the tv and stand out, re-arranged the furniture, and moved the kitty condo and the sideboard to the small dining room. It is so big in there now it echoes. LOL. I also cleaned out the little hallway and window seat that connects the small dining room with the living room so that helped too. This weekend I am tackling the formal dining room and the sewing room in addition to just puttering around.

While I am doing all this moving, cleaning and straightening I am also getting rid of a lot of stuff - stuff that should have gone to Goodwill or Salvation Army a long time ago. It needs to just leave my house now. I don’t need it, I don’t use it, and it’s gotta go. That is, everything with the exception of the various collections I have. The teacups, fine china and crystal stay. As do my grandmothers glass and porcelain items. Anything that has personal value…oh, and I have to keep that little wreath that I got from a friend of a friend of a friend…lol. Ok, now I know why my house is full.

BUT…doing all of this gives me lots of time to think (see I came back to the original thought). I normally get this way during spring and fall when I do most of my gardening. It is relaxing and my hands know what to do so it allows my mind to wander. Plus it is a beginning and an end as far as seasons go and that makes me reflective as well. But for the past few weekends I have been doing all this organizing and cleaning and straightening and because of that, a lot of thinking.

At the end of the weekends I sit in my room (used to be the guest bedroom) with the kitties and think about the week ahead. I plan out the lunches, the outfits, the gym time, and the general schedule. And it is at this time that I start feeling the most content.

I think it has a lot to do with the feeling that, finally, I am in control of my life. I know I’m not, but I do have control over the little things. I think most of it is because my job and commute are reasonable now. Sure we have our busy times, but my job allows for a life. And because I have the time now to take care of things I don’t feel so frazzled or out of control.

So, in addition to my commute, my bosses, and my actual job, that is another benefit of working at a good company – time to think. And when my brain quits hurting from all the thinking, I may write again.

Sunday, August 9

New Favorite Website!

OMG I just found my new favorite website!

Go here (Warning – offensive language and sexual and drug references):

The site is called Texts From Last Night and people send in the texts they have either sent or received. Until you are able to get there, here are some samplings…enjoy.

(865): Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.

(209): do you want me to make hamburgers?
(541): i'm vegan
(209): i'll put lettuce on them

(414): You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"

970): Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.

(828): There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
(402): Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
(402): The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"

(331): You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.

(905): Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
(1-905): With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.

(215): I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
(267): I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.

(416): I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
(1-416): u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u

(858): I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.

(303): these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
(303): now he is talking to a potato

(702): Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
(1-702): You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.

(925): My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
(510): wats the point then?